(Mark Graves/The Oregonian via AP, file) If there was ever a holiday your commie sister-in-law and her man-bunned soi-boifriend hate it would be July 4th. As an American, a patriot, and a descendant of filthy colonizers, I take great pride in our nation. I also really enjoy annoying pinkos all weekend long and I invite you to do the same.
Here are some helpful hints on how to bother your local bolshies. Tip #1: A “Happy Birthday America” Party
Long ago, while working in a New York City office, I wore a birthday hat all day at work on Christmas Eve Day. The Christians got it and were tickled. When my liberal co-workers asked whose birthday it was, I said, “It’s Jesus’ birthday.” They got really annoyed. That’s when it hit me: liberals are peeved when we celebrate all the things they hate, like Jesus and America.
I highly recommend a “Happy Birthday America” party. Decorate your yard as liberals would for their child’s birthday bash. I buy the same birthday hats they buy for their children of yet-to-be-decided gender. Put signs on your lawn. Don’t be shy. Its YOUR house. (Image credit: Kevin Downey Jr.) LESSON-O-RAMA! Marxists hate when you hijack their rituals. Tip #2: Get Yourself an American Flag
Nothing sets off a pinko like Old Glory. Flags are like sunshine to vampires Pelosi. I have one in my car so that passing commies will feel the pain. You can put a flag on your social media profiles too. It will keep Marxists from posting stupid things on your Facebook page like “Happy Native American Desecration Day.”
Remember what I said about hijacking the liberals’ rituals. Look, I’m doing it again. Here is MY pide flag. pic.twitter.com/6NidG3CTy4 — The Kevin Downey, Jr. Show (@KDJRadioShow) July 3, 2022 Tip #3: BBQ […]
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