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The abortion industry has a vested interest in promoting abortions as empowering for women, which means downplaying the effect it has afterward. Yet women are still speaking out, sharing their experiences and the grief they feel after having abortions — and how they’re expected to keep quiet about it.
A recent Buzzfeed article explored what women called the “forbidden grief” of being post-abortive. It began with a viral TikTok video from Kaylyn Weston discussing her abortion, which has gained over 1 million views.
“A year ago, I found out I was pregnant. I decided to have an abortion because I thought it was the right choice,” she began. “What I feel no one talks about is this ‘forbidden grief’ that many women struggle with after an abortion. On the right side, you’re labeled a sinner. On the left, you’re expected to only gain relief and an open future. When in reality, it feels like all my doors have been closed. No one wants to hear about the negative effects an abortion can have without it getting political.” She invited other women to comment as a “safe space,” telling them that they are not alone. Many other post-abortive women did share their feelings, explaining that even if they didn’t necessarily regret their abortions, they still had negative feelings about them.
In a statement to Buzzfeed, Weston explained more about why she called the grieving process behind abortion ‘forbidden’:
To me, forbidden grief is the grief that a woman may endure after having an abortion. It is isolating, heavy, and difficult to process. It’s referred to as forbidden because we feel we shouldn’t experience grief of any kind, as it was our choice to terminate the pregnancy. However, a loss is a loss, and just because a woman decides to end her pregnancy does not mean that she will not regret or feel any negative emotions towards it.
I feel the biggest misconception with abortion is that women are ‘happy’ to do it and feel free afterwards, when the reality can be the complete opposite. It can take a woman years to cope […]
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